The HowNotTo Manifesto

How not to get married?  What’s this all about, then?  Well, in a nutshell…

No, thanks.

No, thanks” to:  Buying in to someone else’s idea of perfection. Maybe the white dress and horse-drawn carriage is for you.  Fine.  Maybe it’s not. Fine.  There are no “must-haves”, “essentials” or “can’t live withouts” here (if you see any, please feel free to let me know that I might have lost my mind).  This is not a place to come to wonder if your wedding ‘measures up’.

No, thanks” to:  The concept that this one “perfect” day will make or break your future happiness.  Excitement is good.  Looking forward to the adventure of married life is good.  Losing perspective and becoming obsessed is not. 

No, thanks” to:  The belief that “wedding” = “expensive” and “difficult”.  It might be both – but it only need be if that’s what you choose.

There’s no anti-wedding or anti-consumerism banter here.  Weddings can be beautiful things.  A chance to unleash your creativity, to connect with your community, and ultimately, share a really beautiful moment in your life with the people you love most.  We ♥ the joyous, the personalised, the love-filled and the heart-warming…

 

Yes, please.

Yes, please” to:  Getting inspired without getting overwhelmed.  Finding a way to express your own personal style in a wedding-world demanding compliance and uniformity.  Having confidence in your decisions – there is no “right” and “wrong”.

Yes, please” to:  Making informed decisions based on your budget and what you actually want.  Being aware of the sometimes-manipulative processes that some of the wedding industry uses to convince you to part with your cash, and therefore going in to it with your eyes open.

Yes, please” to:  Sanity.  Remembering that there is life outside of “the wedding”, appreciating what you’ve got instead of focussing on what you don’t have and can’t afford, and – dare I say it – actually enjoying yourself!

I expect this manifesto to evolve as HNTGM grows.  What do you think? Is there anything you’d like to change or add to this list?

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And so it begins…

I woke up this morning with an idea. 

I run a stationery business (more about that later) and I’ve spent months pondering the thought that, although I run a wedding business, I struggle to blog about it.  I struggle to Facebook about it.  I struggle to even Twitter about it, for goodness’ sake.  Why? Because I just don’t know what to say.  I like pretty, sparkly things as much as the next girl.  But full discussions about whether sweetheart or strapless is the way to go.. ?  Only the girl trying on the dress knows the answer to that, right?  It’s not up to me, or anyone else, to tell a girl what to wear.  Is it?!

Wedding magazines and wedding websites spend all their time trying to convince you – the bride, the going-to-be-a-bride, the one-day-I-might-be-a-bride, we’re all targets – that organising a wedding is going to be THE most stressful time of your life and you simply MUST make all the ‘right’ decisions.  How will you ever show your face in public again if you get it ‘wrong’?

Why have I got nothing to say?  Because, secretly – shhh, I’m supposed to be a proper ‘wedding professional’ – I detest the madness, I detest the materialism, and most of all, I detest being told what to do. 

So I thought, hmmm, why not blog about that?  Why not let brides know that there is another way, that you can organise a wedding and actually enjoy it. 

But who will listen?

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